Hello. Happy you stopped by. You won’t miss one juicy tidbit if you sign up for updates in the box on your right. Don’t forget, it all starts with “My Cats Have Seen Me Naked” – a permanent healing message for you who struggle with bodily image.

Yesterday, we talked about the story of dating deception originating in Nigeria, asking for money - natch! - which I so cleverly side-stepped due to astuteness and watching with my mouth shut until that rascally man hung himself with his own lying words. If you missed it, click here.

Today, after I encouraged Percy about the wisdom of NOT sitting on my wrist as I’m typing, I want to tell you the story of Mikey.  Last week, I met who seemed to be a wonderful guy.  He lived a bit of a driving distance, but he said all the right words.  I’ll share a few of them for you.

“I just love big, voluptuous women.”

“You seem so intelligent and articulate.”

I asked him then, what it was he found so attractive about Large Women and his reply went along these lines:

“Why do you ask?  What an unusual question.”  So I said that in my experience there ARE some men who truly do love Large Women and then there are some men who exploit their vulnerability, and he responded:

“I do understand your skepticism and I’m sure it’s well founded.  You don’t appear to be either needy or vulnerable.  Instead you seem to be very confident and self-assured….an emotional and sexual turn on.”

Have we had any further communication? No, and I don’t think we will because I have a strong sense (I’d really like to be wrong about this because he seemed like such a nice fellow) that I flushed another fox out of the hen house. Three days without any contact have passed.  You know, there was a time when that would have bothered me and I would have retreated into rejection.  Now, having gone up and down this road a time or two, I’m willing to let it be what it is, be grateful for my understanding, and recognize that I just prevented me from deception. And I am not abandoning me!

BTW, I do believe in the words of Charley Strong that there is a lid for every pot and I’ll find mine.

With love in my heart, I hope my story helps you sidestep this kind of individual too. You can learn these skills at The World of Within. I’d love to help you get inside you and love you.

Love,

Pat

I am completely aware that there are some men out there who genuinely have an attraction to large women and their large bodies.  I know that in some circumstances this is completely legitimate. I want to talk about something different today, that comes kind of close to the edge of men who really do prefer large women.

This Blog Post is about the predators who pose as men who love Large Women, and the dishonest men from Nigeria who pose as men in the US who love Large Women.  This begins with two stories and I want to share them one today, and one tomorrow with you so you can see the patterns I have seen with these two events and the many that preceded them.

The first event was from a charming man who said he just loved big women.  His wife had died and he had a teen aged daughter.  The first piece of the pattern shows up very quickly:  get a Yahoo messenger account and communicate with him via that.  I refused to do that.  It’s disruptive to my work.  He told (not asked) me to do that 4 times.  I’m a fairly accepting individual and I wondered why my good reasons were not sinking in.

Then, we moved our conversation off the dating site to regular email.  I received pictures of him and his daughter and an explanation that he’d not been in the US for years, but had lived in England for 20 some years.  I believe this part of the story is to cover up the lack of grasp of US English - the words, spellings and punctuation were not ours.

Then the messages got really smarmy with the falling madly and passionately in love with me - get this - without one phone call or one in person chat.  I mean really sickeningly sweet.  I told him it was 100% inappropriate and to stop. He didn’t.  I was about to call it quits but something in me said “Just keep watching and see where this goes.”

Then, he “won” a civil engineering project contract and left for Africa.  I discovered it was Nigeria after he left. The words “Nigerian Scam” began to blare in my mind. Sure enough.  The following day, his daughter manifested a brain tumor and could I please send $2000 for the hospital (big promises to repay me with all the wealth he’d ear on his contract) because his bank account was locked up (required a thumb print to release funds).

At this point, I’m ashamed to tell you I didn’t see this before, but, at this point, I saw all the pieces and I also saw that it was a complete scam.  And it ended right there and then. I wonder how many of you have gone through this?

Why was I vulnerable to something like this?  Why might you be? I believe it is due to our innate loving, nurturing nature.  I remember thinking “Well, he might not be the best speller, but give it some time and if/when you meet him, that might be excusable.” I always ask myself “What is his/her good reason for doing that?” and I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, BECAUSE….drum roll please…………..

because I am so good I would never dream of deception, and neither would you.  It is abysmally sad that there are predatory men out there who see this goodness in us large women and who use it for their own benefit.  Please remember, I do not include all men in this; only the ones who dishonestly prey on large women.

I reported this man to the dating service, and, under this name, he’s outta there. I’m convinced another name will be used.  Tsk tsk!  Beware, ladies.

Tomorrow, I’ll tell you a story about Mikey’s M. O. (method of operating.)  I do believe if we Big Girls share this stuff instead of hiding inside ourselves in shame, we can put a stop to it.  You have no shame in being good, honey.  They have shame in attempting to exploit it.

Please, won’t you share your story in the comments? It “arms” all of us.

Love,

Pat