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Chi & Percy on "Mother"

I am no end of amazed when I think of the silence and the love I get from Percy and Chi, my tuxedo cats. It’s a reason to rejoice and be grateful this month when I reflect on all they have brought to my life.

Percy is eleven years old. He was a surprise Mother’s Day gift to me from my sons - one of those gifts that keeps on giving, you know?  Percy was six weeks old at the time and he fit into my hand.  I think he weighs 20 lbs now, so he’s done a fair bit of growing.  In those early days, I had to teach him where the litter box was, and I had to help him hop up on my bed, because he was so small.

One of our most memorable moments occurred when he snuggled up to my face affectionately and I said “Oh Percy, I love you.”  Doesn’t seem like much, does it?  Trust me, it was HUGE.  Something literally “cracked open” inside of me.  It felt like a hardened shell falling aside.  I think I had toughened myself up against onslaughts from my family, and he helped me to set all that aside.  Percy has been a big part of my healing.

I felt he deserved a playmate, because it got really old calling home to talk to him over the answerphone when I was gone for any length of time.  It’s excessively empathetic, I know.  So I brought home a tabby who ended up going to live elsewhere.  I continued to look for a pal for Percy.  I was at a Farmer’s Market in Torrance, CA when I spotted a lady with a large wire cage filled with tuxedo kittens.  I reached in and pulled out Chi. She was six months old and just full of piss and vinegar.  Cute as a bug’s butt.

When I introduced her to Percy, she hissed at him, he ran off, and I thought “Ah, this will work” because Percy, as it turned out, is a bit of a hover-mother.  Her nearly licked that tabby to death and it was a bit too much.  So with Chi in charge, I knew she wouldn’t let him overlord her, and he hasn’t.

They bring me affection, friendship, simple demands and lots of chuckles.  And so, I’m very grateful for Percy and Chi.  And best of all, they gave me the title for my book: “My Cats Have Seen Me Naked: How I Achieved Self-Love and Self-Acceptance While Obese.”  They were the ones sitting there accepting me one day when I stepped out of the shower. They are a crucial piece in my healing.

Love you,

Pat

Oh, Joy!

Do you ever grow weary of people telling you how wonderful you are, that you can do it, that nothing is too wonderful to happen, that all things are possible?  Yeah, me too.

Once in a while you deserve a day when you get to pout, to sulk, to hide, to ignore everybody and their damn positive attitude, say screw it all, and KNOW, absolutely KNOW, that you’ll be back soon with a much better attitude, willing to work on “your obesity or overweight stuff” from a perspective of renewed hope.

I’m giving you that day today.

Oh, if you want a shot in the arm for when you return,  you can buy my book, My Cats Have Seen Me Naked:  How I Achieved Self-Love and Self-Acceptance While Obese and have it ready for when you’re ready.

Love you,

Pat

Calif. Lake

It’s been raining here much of today and yesterday, and outside, it looks as clear as Convict Lake, above. Such beauty!  I have a deep sense of gratitude for where I live on days like this, and no, I don’t live near Convict Lake.  I live in Running Springs, CA.

You and I have survived to one degree or another all of the issues of our childhood.  When I began to write my book, I had first thought of naming it “I Forgive Me For My Childhood.”  It seemed that all the issued I had dealt with were consuming my life at that time. I have a philosophical attitude that we live the first half of our lives asleep, and we live the second half of our lives figuring out what we were supposed to learn during the first half.  At least, that’s what my life has been like.

One of my therapists ( I keep going back to get help whenever I discover another pocket that needs emptying) told me that over 70% of obese women suffer from issues of abuse.  I am one of that 70%.  What I experienced is detailed in my book, so I won’t chew my cabbage twice here. Let me say this: obesity is an incredibly intelligent wrapping which I formed as a layer of protection to save me from things too terrible to consider, to horrendous to live through.  And yet, didn’t I live through them? Didn’t you? Do you have the courage unfolded now to get some help looking at what happened to you?

I had formed a concept that I was too strong for all the stuff coming at me; that I would survive regardless of how much hurt I suffered; and that there was a better way for myself.  I ended up discovering the actual Truth about Life because I was obese and this is the best payback of all. So, on a gorgeous day like today, I have a lot to look back on and be grateful for.  How about you?

Love you,

Pat