Welcome back!

I am completely aware that there are some men out there who genuinely have an attraction to large women and their large bodies.  I know that in some circumstances this is completely legitimate. I want to talk about something different today, that comes kind of close to the edge of men who really do prefer large women.

This Blog Post is about the predators who pose as men who love Large Women, and the dishonest men from Nigeria who pose as men in the US who love Large Women.  This begins with two stories and I want to share them one today, and one tomorrow with you so you can see the patterns I have seen with these two events and the many that preceded them.

The first event was from a charming man who said he just loved big women.  His wife had died and he had a teen aged daughter.  The first piece of the pattern shows up very quickly:  get a Yahoo messenger account and communicate with him via that.  I refused to do that.  It’s disruptive to my work.  He told (not asked) me to do that 4 times.  I’m a fairly accepting individual and I wondered why my good reasons were not sinking in.

Then, we moved our conversation off the dating site to regular email.  I received pictures of him and his daughter and an explanation that he’d not been in the US for years, but had lived in England for 20 some years.  I believe this part of the story is to cover up the lack of grasp of US English - the words, spellings and punctuation were not ours.

Then the messages got really smarmy with the falling madly and passionately in love with me - get this - without one phone call or one in person chat.  I mean really sickeningly sweet.  I told him it was 100% inappropriate and to stop. He didn’t.  I was about to call it quits but something in me said “Just keep watching and see where this goes.”

Then, he “won” a civil engineering project contract and left for Africa.  I discovered it was Nigeria after he left. The words “Nigerian Scam” began to blare in my mind. Sure enough.  The following day, his daughter manifested a brain tumor and could I please send $2000 for the hospital (big promises to repay me with all the wealth he’d ear on his contract) because his bank account was locked up (required a thumb print to release funds).

At this point, I’m ashamed to tell you I didn’t see this before, but, at this point, I saw all the pieces and I also saw that it was a complete scam.  And it ended right there and then. I wonder how many of you have gone through this?

Why was I vulnerable to something like this?  Why might you be? I believe it is due to our innate loving, nurturing nature.  I remember thinking “Well, he might not be the best speller, but give it some time and if/when you meet him, that might be excusable.” I always ask myself “What is his/her good reason for doing that?” and I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, BECAUSE….drum roll please…………..

because I am so good I would never dream of deception, and neither would you.  It is abysmally sad that there are predatory men out there who see this goodness in us large women and who use it for their own benefit.  Please remember, I do not include all men in this; only the ones who dishonestly prey on large women.

I reported this man to the dating service, and, under this name, he’s outta there. I’m convinced another name will be used.  Tsk tsk!  Beware, ladies.

Tomorrow, I’ll tell you a story about Mikey’s M. O. (method of operating.)  I do believe if we Big Girls share this stuff instead of hiding inside ourselves in shame, we can put a stop to it.  You have no shame in being good, honey.  They have shame in attempting to exploit it.

Please, won’t you share your story in the comments? It “arms” all of us.

Love,

Pat

Just a quickie reminder about our interview today.  Come listen in:  BTR Wise Weight Woman Interview Today - http://www.blogtalkradio.com/deborahbeatty

In my reading yesterday, I came across a rather interesting quotation from Albert Einstein.  He said “If I am right, the Germans will say I was a German and the French will say I was a Jew.  If I am wrong, the Germans will say I was a Jew and the French will say I was a German.”  This got me to thinking about my work here at the World of Within.

To take the stand I have taken which meant going against the diet and exercise boys, was quite courageous.  It was also accurate.  So I can say then “If I am wrong, the traditionalists will say I was one of those wacky metaphysicians and the metaphysicians will say that I really didn’t understand.  But if I am right (and I am) the metaphysicians will call me a great understander, and the traditionalists will still say I am wacky.”  They have to say I’m wacky, because if I am right (and I am) there goes the billion dollar diet and exercise industry.  You won’t need them and their pills, potions, wraps, sweat and tears. All you’d need is  your own sweet mind and I can tell you how to use it to have the life (and the body) you truly want.

This is why I began the “Don’t Diet with me Campaign of 2009.” This is why I keep reminding you about the “Fall Madly in Love With Your Self” teleclass series beginning on March 9th at 6 pm PST. It’s one of the best investments you’ll ever make.  You’ll learn about how you’ve been innocently making that obesity or overweight thanks to the help of the traditionalists and how to put a stop to it.

Don’t do what you’ve always done.  Don’t read this and click away.  Click here and join us on Monday the 19th at 6 pm and when you discover how enlightening it is,  you’ll be hooked and so grateful I was a nag about it today.

Love,

Pat

I’m fairly confident that most of us have heard the ‘hit the ball and drag Charley” joke. You can Google it if you haven’t.  It came up during the week here at the World of Within, and I got to thinking about how we large women do that.

Now we all know that we big girls have big, big hearts that are generous, excessively conscientious, and overly responsible.  I knew one employer who made it a habit to hire only large women because, as he said, they did the work of two people due to that being over responsible.  I was not happy when I heard that one!  Smack!  Even in retrospect and ‘virtually’, that felt good. 

We big girls have many wonderful character traits in common.  We also have some in common that are not quite so wonderful.  Turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to dealing with the past - the events of our childhood - is another one that many large women perpetrate.  It’s because of this that the “hit the ball and drag Charley” joke came to mind.

Your mind is Cause itself.  When you use it to think, it causes what you think.  And if you have stuff inside there in your years of experience going back to the very beginning of  your life that you haven’t made sense of yet, well, honey, it’s hanging all over your body screaming for your attention.

The World of Within's Office

At the World of Within, we encourage looking at those things, so that once you get comfortable on the inside, you can do something about the outside.  My book My Cats Have Seen Me Naked tells you the story of how I accomplished self love and self acceptance while I was obese, and now, I am changing the outside by using the purely mental means I’ve learned that work. 25 lbs since Thanksgiving and counting. 

We have all been manipulated by the media to expect instantaneous gratification for all that we want.  Life doesn’t work that way.  You have to take each tiny step, and eventually in looking back, you see that you’ve come many miles.  That’s how life works.  If  Life was instantaneous, we’d all be gone from this plane. It’s important to take each stately step, but more importantly is to BEGIN to take them. That is my wish for you today.

If you’d like help beginning and then taking your stately steps, our Teleclass Series Fall Madly in Love with Yourself is beginning on March 9.  The calls are a lot of fun.  Hope to see you there.

Love,

Pat