Welcome back!

Before I give you a list of the Basic Principles, you’ll need to understand how to affect a mental healing of the mistaken sense of obesity you’ve been lugging around. Please answer these three questions and be brutally honest with yourself.

© What do you want?

© What does it take to get what you want?

© Are you willing to do whatever it takes?

Question three is the kicker, don’t you think? Why? Because willingness is an attitude and it is your attitude that governs your life. Without a good attitude, nada. With a good attitude, everything.

If you inflate a balloon that has printing on it, the printing appears to get larger and larger. It’s not readable until the balloon is inflated. Life’s laws are like that as well. Until you look at them in great detail, you don’t see the connections or understand what they are about.

The Basic Principles discussed in chapter three of My Cats Have Seen Me Naked are all about just one thing – the Law of Cause and Effect. This law has so many juicy parts to it that you are well served to look at them in small pieces, so it will be blowing up the Law of Cause and Effect throughout all of my writing so you can read and interpret what’s written there.

After you have completed reading the book and working through the questions in its accompanying workbook, you will have a much fuller sense of the Law of Cause and Effect than you do now. You will know what the Law of Cause and Effect means. You will know what Cause truly is. You will easily identify Effect and you will know precisely how it got there in the first place! Better yet, you will learn how to use the Law to generate precisely what you desire in your life.

Just as in building a house, you have to have a strong foundation for this learning, and the principles below help you build just such a foundation.

Principle 1. Always be honest with yourself.

I’ve always been an “up” kind of person. For me, the glass is usually half full. But I have pockets of resistance myself to what I just wrote and I have a nasty attitude about those pockets.

If you know you’ve got a terrible attitude, resolve here and now to improve it. Attitude goes into the foundation of your success. You cannot build on a weak foundation, if you recall Harry Belafonte’s wise words.

I told lots of lies as a child to protect myself from punishment. This was a hard habit to overcome, but I made it. I can be brutally honest with others (I always ask for their permission first) and with myself. When someone says “Pat, you’re like this…..” I can listen, evaluate and if I see truth there, say “You’re right.” I wasn’t always able to do this.

Honesty should be in your foundation.

Principle 2. All that you do comes from integrity.

Integrity means moral soundness. I don’t think it matters where you come from, how you were educated, what school you attended, which church you belong to - somewhere along the line integrity was discussed. When I was a little girl, I did not have the strong concepts I now hold about integrity. Today, this is a place of great strength for me.

I like to think of integrity as universal good. If whatever you undertake is good for everyone concerned, you’ve got integrity on your side, and then more good can be added for your life’s score card.

If universal good is not being served, you are doomed to lots of inharmony. Oh, you might make tons of money, drive an expensive car, wear wonderful clothes, or have a skinny body, but inside yourself (where it’s not visible to those watching,) there won’t be harmony in the picture. There might be illness, anger, dissatisfaction, sneakiness….. you know the picture. You recognize the modus operandi.

Let integrity be your cornerstone.

Principle 3. Learn the Laws of Life and then Use Them.

In a mental universe, the laws that govern life are mental laws.

Life is good, mental, individual.

The essence of your life is goodness itself.

You think, therefore you are mind.

Only you can do the work you need to do for

yourself.

The Law of Cause and Effect:

Good things come from good thoughts.

So-called evil things come from evil thoughts.

The Law of Proportion:

The more good you think, the more good you get.

The more evil you think, the more evil you get.

The Law of Individuality

There’s only you in your world, thinking.

You can only think one idea at a time.

You can choose which thought you will think.

Wisdom is the Principle Thing.

“Wisdom is the principle thing, therefore get wisdom. And with all thy getting, get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7.

Wisdom means the right use or exercise of knowledge. The scripture above means Use what you currently know. Use it out of your sense of universal good. Use it so that all benefit and you will get greater understanding. And then, Use that greater understanding and you will get even greater understanding. The key to having wisdom is that you use it, in case you didn’t get my bolding clues.

If you operate your life from the three principles and the five laws explained above, you will be successful in creating a more accurate self-concept, you will unfold more understanding, and eventually you’ll disappear the obesity you created inadvertently with your mistaken thinking.

Persevering

I have been a believer in the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, that guy on the white horse who carries me off into the sunset, and that I’ll win the lottery all my life. Aside from the quarters, the Christmas gifts and the chocolate, the payoff has been kind of sketchy.

I’ve also been a big believer that miracles can happen. I believe that one of my ideas will pay off big – maybe this book! I believe that Mr. Right does exist and that if he’s now in the jungle, he’s hacking his way out on his way to me. Most importantly, I believe that I can change my erring sense to a more accurate one and all excess weight will be gone forever.

And while I’m waiting for all those things to happen, I learned that I am the only Cause there can be in my mental universe. I learned that Phineas Quimby was right when he proclaimed “If it’s going to be, it’s up to me.” It’s a bit more graphic to say “Wish in one hand….” you know the rest. See which one fills up the fastest. It’s not by wishing, I can tell you that!

Take Action!

Action is the key to getting everything you want. You’ve got to take some action. Planning is wonderful. By all means, plan. But then, you’ve got to implement that plan by taking some action. Without action, zip. Don’t wait until your plan is perfect. Begin and refine the plan along the way. I once had a roommate in a house which had a very light-colored carpet. I wanted to shampoo the carpet. She was afraid if we wet it, it would stretch. I scrubbed the carpet over her objections. It didn’t stretch. I could never have known that unless I took some action.

Rather long.  Hoped you enjoyed it. There’s more like it in the book.

Love,

Pat

When I named the 2009 Project “Don’t Diet With Me in 2009″ and I explained what it meant back in January, I frequently look back and wonder if I did an adequate job of explaining myself.  Today, when I began to write, I felt compelled to go over some basics again with you to help you understand why dieting from a mental perspective is permanent and effective, and dieting from a food and exercise basis can never be.

These days, our family is in an excited countdown waiting for our first grandchild/nephew!

It’s on our minds even when we are blogging! 

Back to mental dieting.  The word “diet” comes from the root word “day” and means the food you eat in one day.  Mental dieting, then, would mean the thoughts you think in one day.  Why the stress on “mental?”  Because, my loves, you are mental beings. You think, therefore, you are mind because only mind can think.  That would make you a mental being.

When you were born, every action you took was preceded by a thought. It was there alright, but because that action is invisible, very few seem to have noticed it, only it’s subsequent action.   It happened like this when you were a baby:

WORDS FROM PARENTS: Come on, little one, walk to mama.

THOUGHTS INSIDE YOU: I want to walk to mama.

SUBSEQUENT ACTION: You walked to your mama.

Now here is the great news:  You are still following this same pattern, only now, your parents are out of the picture.  You’re flying solo.  It happens like this:

THOUGHTS INSIDE YOU: I want to lose weight.  I’ll join XXX weight loss group and then I’ll lose weight.

SUBSEQUENT ACTION: You join the group and BECAUSE YOU ARE THINKING YOU’LL LOSE WEIGHT, you lose weight.  Trust me, it has nothing to do with the weight loss group.

Basically, you could save yourself a heck of a lot of money by NOT joining the weight loss group, by not buying the pills and potions and food, and by simply THINKING YOU’LL LOSE WEIGHT, you’d lose weight.  Why?  Because this is a mental universe and you are a mental, thinking being. I hope you’ll forgive my capitals.  I’m not shouting.  I just want you to see the important parts, ok?

This is the reason Oprah cannot keep her weight off.  She does not address the mental portion of the equation.  She does not correct her underlying thinking that food will cause her to gain weight.  She manipulates effect (food and exercise) but she doesn’t address the cause part (her thoughts.) Hey, I tried to tell her.  I sent her a copy of my book because I personally find it painful to watch her re-gain and lose that weight over and over.  And now, I’m sharing this information with you.

If any of this resonated with you today, it would make my heart leap with joy!  I am teaching all about this in my teleclasses.  Won’t you consider joining us and get yourself out from under this miasma each of us has innocently created?

Love you,

Pat

I am completely aware that there are some men out there who genuinely have an attraction to large women and their large bodies.  I know that in some circumstances this is completely legitimate. I want to talk about something different today, that comes kind of close to the edge of men who really do prefer large women.

This Blog Post is about the predators who pose as men who love Large Women, and the dishonest men from Nigeria who pose as men in the US who love Large Women.  This begins with two stories and I want to share them one today, and one tomorrow with you so you can see the patterns I have seen with these two events and the many that preceded them.

The first event was from a charming man who said he just loved big women.  His wife had died and he had a teen aged daughter.  The first piece of the pattern shows up very quickly:  get a Yahoo messenger account and communicate with him via that.  I refused to do that.  It’s disruptive to my work.  He told (not asked) me to do that 4 times.  I’m a fairly accepting individual and I wondered why my good reasons were not sinking in.

Then, we moved our conversation off the dating site to regular email.  I received pictures of him and his daughter and an explanation that he’d not been in the US for years, but had lived in England for 20 some years.  I believe this part of the story is to cover up the lack of grasp of US English - the words, spellings and punctuation were not ours.

Then the messages got really smarmy with the falling madly and passionately in love with me - get this - without one phone call or one in person chat.  I mean really sickeningly sweet.  I told him it was 100% inappropriate and to stop. He didn’t.  I was about to call it quits but something in me said “Just keep watching and see where this goes.”

Then, he “won” a civil engineering project contract and left for Africa.  I discovered it was Nigeria after he left. The words “Nigerian Scam” began to blare in my mind. Sure enough.  The following day, his daughter manifested a brain tumor and could I please send $2000 for the hospital (big promises to repay me with all the wealth he’d ear on his contract) because his bank account was locked up (required a thumb print to release funds).

At this point, I’m ashamed to tell you I didn’t see this before, but, at this point, I saw all the pieces and I also saw that it was a complete scam.  And it ended right there and then. I wonder how many of you have gone through this?

Why was I vulnerable to something like this?  Why might you be? I believe it is due to our innate loving, nurturing nature.  I remember thinking “Well, he might not be the best speller, but give it some time and if/when you meet him, that might be excusable.” I always ask myself “What is his/her good reason for doing that?” and I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, BECAUSE….drum roll please…………..

because I am so good I would never dream of deception, and neither would you.  It is abysmally sad that there are predatory men out there who see this goodness in us large women and who use it for their own benefit.  Please remember, I do not include all men in this; only the ones who dishonestly prey on large women.

I reported this man to the dating service, and, under this name, he’s outta there. I’m convinced another name will be used.  Tsk tsk!  Beware, ladies.

Tomorrow, I’ll tell you a story about Mikey’s M. O. (method of operating.)  I do believe if we Big Girls share this stuff instead of hiding inside ourselves in shame, we can put a stop to it.  You have no shame in being good, honey.  They have shame in attempting to exploit it.

Please, won’t you share your story in the comments? It “arms” all of us.

Love,

Pat