Happy, happy, happy
My brother called me last night after spending a few hours with my son Thad and Amy and Baby H. He commented that he had never in his life encountered such a well-balanced, loving and happy child. I know he has cranky moments like other kids. I mean, he must. I have never encountered one with him. When I get to hold him and play with him, he’s always all smiles.
Happiness is our norm, and I think Hieronymous has, for the most part, never been torn away from his norm. He is unilaterally loved and accepted and this allows him to stay inside what is normal. Thad and Amy, you’re doing a superb job.
Those of you, my regular readers, would you like to return to your norm? We women have this tendency toward negative self-talk about our bodies. Somehow, somewhere, someway we grew up with the concept that a) our bodies are who we are; b) other people have a right or a duty to make judgmental comments about our body and c) we adopted the whole food/exercise idea as the way to handle our sinful selves. I’d like to address these things one at a time, because only in changing them will our bodies change, if we want out body to change.
a) Our bodies are who we are. Inside your body lives the “I” of you. It’s invisible, changeless, perfect and good. It is, in fact, goodness and perfection itself. Inside you is your Mind. Your mind is the “I” of you - invisible, changeless, perfect and good. The goodness who you are is 100% changeless. Your goodness will never be deleted nor will it disappear. You and I have added stuff to that goodness and perfection called “the negative thoughts I think about my Self.” We have believed those who’s input is less than generous, and we continued the diatribe long after their mouths clapped shut and they walked away.
It is our right, our duty, and our privilege to change the negative thinking we do about ourselves. This work is done mentally because we are mental beings - invisible, powerful, changeless. So what’s the story behind overweight bodies? We have thought them into existence. We have used our minds unduly, and our body, the faithful report card of our minds activities, has created a picture in the shape/size of our bodies to let us know we (our minds) aren’t thinking good thoughts. We are not the body we have created, just like the robber isn’t the bank job he pulls. Our “norm” is to think good thoughts and remain comfortable, like little Hiero.
b) Other people have a right or duty to make comments about our body. You and I are here on this earth to learn the what, how, why, when and who about us individually and about life in general. Our circumstances - in particular, our bodies - are learning tools for this task. Other people in our lives are ancillary lessons for us. They and their nasty ass words are a perfectly adjusted opportunity for us to do one of two things.
1. Consider what is said to see if there is any truth in it. If so, applaud your Self.
2. After consideration, if you find no truth in the words of another, cast it aside like pet poop.
Remember this: the words of another can only have an effect on you with your permission.
c) We adopted the whole food/exercise idea as the way to handle our supposedly sinful selves. Because we are mental beings, we ought to have been taught from the get-go to use our mental tools. The world at large doesn’t even know we’re mental, let alone that we have mental tools! The food we eat and the exercise we employ are effect. Effect has nothing in it that acts like cause. It is our minds thinking and coming to conclusions that are the cause part of us. An effect cannot do that. The reason that dieting and exercising seem to work is that the girl doing the dieting and exercising thinks that they work. Invisibly, she is using the power of her mind. She thinks if she takes food away, she will lose weight, and she might do that temporarily, but if she doesn’t change the way she does the negative self-talk thing, the weight will return. Oprah, bless her good, good heart, is a prime example of this. And so am I. And so are you.
I went kind of long today, but I think all those words bear saying. The old saw “Change your stinking thinking” has a lot of truth in it. I hope that my words today help you to see what you’ve been doing so that now you can change your thinking. My book can help you do this work, and in particular will all the incredible questions in the two workbooks.
Love you. Mean it.