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Seventeen

How the tables have turned!  When this picture was taken, I remember being ragged on by my parents - mainly my dad - to get that damn weight off.  After he had died, this picture was discovered in his wallet.  It was well worn.  Because I’ve since raised my own children, I recognize that you only carry with you the most flattering pictures of your children so you can brag on them to  your friends.  Hummm, if this was a brag, why was he pushing me to lose weight?

Today, this picture is the model I hold in my mind when I think “my body is shrinking.” This size of my body is now my ideal size.  As I think the words in my mind model, I hold the sense of absolute conviction, because I have this picture to recall in my memory.  And I work to embue precisely how it will feel to me when I shrink my body enough to resemble this picture.

My childhood picture were all stolen from me.  I am most grateful to have this picture.  Thanks for saving it, Dad.

A Deer in Mammoth

Animals live in the immediacy of every moment. They are incapable, due to their inability to think or reason, of self-deceit.  You and I, on the other hand, have used our ability to think and reason to create scenarios-of-protection:  rationale that we conjure up to protect ourselves from hurt.

And I would know this how?  Oh, girlfriends, I am the Queen of Self-Deceit.  And I’m such a know it all that I won’t permit anyone else to tell me what they see.  No, I have to suffer through my mistakes until I give myself permission to finally see the truth.

I have been processing a doosey for nearly a month here, and I believe that I’m about the peel the wrappings off a substantial truth, so as part of my processing, I’ll share it with you because it is part and parcel of the reason behind why I remain obese.

I’m not at all sure when this happened, but behind the scenes in my one sweet life, behind the pretty, talented, intelligent me, there lurked a deep hidden doubt - the doubt that I am good.  I don’t know when it started.  I’m not sure why I’ve always felt that way.  I just know it is my own, personal Linus blanket and it goes with me wherever I go.

Using it, I have kept myself from wealth.  I have kept myself from health - although to a lesser degree in this category.  I have kept myself from happiness.  How have I done this?  I have - in my own mind - made myself excluded.  Due to my concept of not being good enough, I have made myself take a step backwards in so many situations they are uncountable.  I have been permitting me to see myself doing this for some weeks now.  I watch me observe a situation, and then I see the old tape click on and that drone of a voice that says “But not you, honey…..”

I don’t want to tolerate this any more.  I’ve had enough.  I want to pull the plug out and I want to let myself enjoy all that I’m supposed to do.  This one sweet life is supposed to be about health, wealth and happiness and I want my full share.  I want satisfaction and enjoyment, and I’m in the process of letting more in.

Stay tuned.

Pat

Lovin' Life!

I know your life isn’t all that different from mine.  You experience down moments and up moments too, yes?  My last several months have been down moments.  I discovered some years back that persevering through the down times is what lets you emerge from the tunnel into the sunshine feeling great, and I’m finally at the end of that tunnel.

I find it fascinating how many things are now going my way that I couldn’t seem to shake a few months back. I do know though that when I continue to think the thoughts that I know are accurate, eventually, the steel bands of limitation will break and the good will win out.  And that is what is happening in my life now.

The picture I chose for today’s blog is of a young man who had an ENORMOUS zest for life.  I never saw him unhappy, but I wasn’t in his inner circle. He probably did have down times, but I saw him willing to invest his full self into every moment. Can you imagine surfing backwards on one leg, about to fall in and have it look absolutely exhilarating?  He was like that.

I wanted to share with you that my persevering with my right ideas in my down days, the awareness of the payoffs in my coming back up days, and his zest for everything are three ideas I can share with you if you think there is no progress in your life.  There always is.  It may be on slow boil, but it’s there. I want to encourage you to persevere with your right thinking.  You’ll see the results you want if you persevere.

If you want gazillions of good ideas along these lines, “My Cats Have Seen Me Naked; How I Achieved Self Love and Self Acceptance While Obese” is the book for you.  There’s also two workbooks to accompany it that will turn you into a keen thinker who manifests her own desires.  You can find all the books here.

Love ya.  Mean it.

Pat