Baring my soul - again
Welcome back!
Over the years, I’ve come to think of myself as “strong, persistent, smart, healthy, resourceful.” Are you beginning to get the picture? I don’t permit myself to go toward “incapable, weak, and their like.” When I was evacuated from my home due to the Slide Fire last October, in my mind that became “no biggie; I can do this.”
You all know that I live with the principles that all is mental, all is good, and all is individual. Someday soon, the beta reading for My Cats Have Seen Me Naked will be completed (hey, we’re peddling as fast as we can!),it will go to the publisher and then you can read more about mental, good and individual. Based on those principles, when I was evacuated, I made every effort to live my life as I normally do inside the sanctum sanctorum of my own home.
There must have been a moment of reversing cause and effect during that evacuation. In fact, I believe I know exactly when it happened. I was out shopping for veggies for a soup I was making that day. I was outside in the “fallout” from the Santiago fire and I can remember thinking “Ah, this muck in the air can’t affect me!” I did not clean it up enough, and the result was it seems to be affecting me. I’ve been coughing my guts out ever since that day (Monday, Oct. 29th) and it’s been a motherless mother huncher to correct!
There has to be a pony in there somewhere though, so I began to look at what is truly happening: I am choking and have a difficulty swallowing. So I asked myself, “Pat dear, what is going on in your life that you simply do not want to swallow any more?” And the answer came back in a blinding flash: I am bone weary of thinking that I am fat, that I cannot change this mistaken sense of myself due to it’s lengthy history, and that I might (oh, the despair!) never make this correction. Not one to give in to that kind of despair-thinking, I immediately told myself “Don’t be silly. You can quit swallowing these mistaken ideas about yourself. You can quit choking over them. You can relax and allow yourself to return to your normal state of perfect health.”
And I am, folks. I’m feeling so much better this week. I’m able to focus on work again. I’m able to speak better without the laryngitis. One rather embarrassing component involving panty liners is also disappearing, thank God.
I wanted you to know. Oh, and I’m losing weight again too. I find it fascinating that letting go of mistaken ideas always results in weight loss for me. Hoo Yah! Beats the crap out of dieting. 
